greeting, fellow earthlings, this is your manic pixie dream girl captain speaking. we’re experiencing some existential delays, due to the libra eclipse, and to be honest we just can’t really be arsed today to finish up predicting your pretty little futures. so in lieu of tonight’s regularly scheduled programming, please enjoy the following questions, asked from us to you, for you to ask yourself. and tune back in tomorrow night for some good old fashion horoscopes fun, dropping, as always, right at 11:11 pm.
when was the last time you hugged a tree?
when was the last time you made out with someone just for fun?
do you like yourself?
do you think you’ll continue to like yourself?
what did it take for you to get to like yourself?
what’s the pattern you’re currently trying to break?
how come we still haven’t figured out how to be decent to each other?
how can we be mostly decent in our day-to-day lives but still so horrific on a global and international scale?
are you tender?
are you scared?
should i be scared?
should i be tender?
when is this all gonna end?
how come we never know what’s right around the corner?
if you could get away with it, would you?
could you?
could i?
could anybody?
see you tomorrow at eleven.
the manic pixie dream girl’s guide to existential angst is a sometimes free newsletter (and the occasional poem) from joelle schumacher, as well as their weekly fake horoscope forecast. if you enjoy their work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber, and/or subscribe to or write in to their advice column (but preferably and, instead of or).